The Mental Load Women Carry, and How to Lighten It

There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from lack of sleep, it comes from keeping track of everything.

The grocery list.
Your partner’s calendar.
Your child’s playdate, doctor’s appointment, and that one missing sock.
The birthday card you meant to send.
The office deadlines you can’t afford to miss.
The “we should catch up soon” messages you haven’t replied to.
The feeling that if you don’t remember, no one else will.

This invisible weight is what sociologists call “the mental load.” It’s the ongoing, often unnoticed effort of managing life for yourself and everyone around you. And research shows that women disproportionately carry it.

Even in households where responsibilities are shared on paper, women are still more likely to be the ones anticipating needs, planning, and worrying about the gaps. It’s not just about doing more—it’s about thinking more, constantly, without pause.

And it’s quietly draining.

In a 2023 global wellness survey, over one-third of women named mental fatigue as a leading reason they were seeking a break. Another quarter described feeling “like I’m holding it all together, but just barely.”
Sound familiar?

The truth is, you were never meant to carry it all.

There is no prize for being perpetually available. No gold star for never dropping the ball. And no shame in needing rest that goes deeper than sleep.

So, how do we begin to lighten the load?

We start by permitting ourselves to step away from the noise, even briefly.

That could mean asking for help without guilt. Letting go of perfection. Creating boundaries. Choosing simplicity. Saying no when you mean it. And sometimes, it means leaving the to-do list behind for a few days and just being a woman in a space that asks nothing of her but presence.

At The Wander Woman, we hold space for this. For the quiet exhale. For the meals, you don’t have to plan. For the mornings when the only thing on your schedule is yoga or a barefoot walk.

Because the mental load doesn’t disappear in a day. But when you put it down, even for a while, you remember what it feels like to be you. Unburdened. Unrushed. Undivided.

And that’s a powerful place to begin again.

Written by Samantha, Co-Founder at The Wander Woman